COMPOSED

What was so sad was that he didn’t recognize he was home. That we were home. Where our lives as intertwined siblings began from infancy. Where I had carried him over the gravel when he was barefoot and earned the title of “Mother Hen” while ‘helping’ tend to his unique needs.  Where our parents taught him basic skills with endless patience - how to eat, to sit, to walk. Ben’s vague diagnosis in the mid 1960’s provided little hope that he would follow typical growth patterns, either physically or mentally; his brain had not fully developed. His behaviors were unpredictable. He required constant supervision and assistance, which grew impossible with three other small children at home -- me and two more brothers. Over time, our parents grew concerned for our safety, and about meeting Ben’s intense needs consistently. With heartbreaking reality, they made the wrenching decision to place Ben in a residential facility, an hour from where we lived. At age 6, he was uprooted from both our home and our hearts. 

So, when we were both in our thirties, I brought him out to our childhood home. I thought he might recognize the house and landscape, though he hadn’t been there for a number of years. I’m not sure what I expected -- maybe I hoped it would trigger a soothing memory, or that I could somehow detect that Ben remembered our origins. But nothing like that happened. Ben seemed unmoved, and after a very short time, indicated that he wanted to leave. “Bye bye car” meant “let’s go” and to delay would be unwise. So we left, and traveling down our lengthy driveway, I drove away from the hope of that elusive shared moment.

In my own living room later that day, I was still troubled by the stark realization that home wasn’t home at all to Ben. He seemed to have forgotten the special place where our dad and mom nurtured him carefully, diligently, raising him at home against all medical advice at the time. Ordinarily, my outlook about Ben is upbeat. But this was a memorable instance in which I felt distinct sadness about Ben’s severe developmental delay, the truncation of cerebral growth that meant he would be a mostly non-verbal, vulnerable adult in need of constant protection all his life to ensure his well-being and safety. That evening, with an ache inside, I composed Clear Beyond, an unapologetic nod to Ben’s anticipated clarity, acuity, health, cognition, expression -- his wholeness -- in heaven.

AMPLIFIED

Reflecting more deeply, though, perhaps Ben is already the most clear of all of us. He is content, unlike many who find so much to fret about, while in the midst of plenty. Easily authentic, he is not arrogant or pretentious. He is free from uneasy anxiety and brooding, and is without a critical, judging heart. With the intellectual development of a toddler, at age 56, he demonstrates surprising insight and understanding of his environment. He exhibits growth and learns new skills over time, such as bowling or tolerating a medical exam or procedure. He senses sincerity when people look him in the eye and gently address him directly. He detects disdain when someone is impatient, rushing, thoughtless as they overlook him. His responses are clear evidence that somehow, he reads people accurately.

Ben relishes in the simplest of pleasures -- the delicious satisfaction of a meal or treat, music that stirs him to dance, attention and smiles from a warm-hearted soul, a ride in the car, snuggling underneath his covers at night, a movie and popcorn. With an infectious giggle, he celebrates delights known only to his enigmatic comprehension. Ben’s companionship is heartening. The depth of his needs require my undivided attention, which allows me to forget my own trivial needs for a time. Perhaps selfishly, I like how natural I feel around him, without my usual incessant self-consciousness. 

Would I have wished his condition upon him? Of course not. But, in an intriguing contradiction, Ben, whose life supplies none of what our nation deems most valuable -- independence, strength, talent, intelligence, skill, attractiveness, productivity -- supplies for us treasured and priceless opportunities. We are invited to exhibit the very heart of God – compelled to demonstrate unconditional, generous, devoted and sincere love – as Ben’s susceptibility begs for care and compassion. Paradoxically, his lack implores our supply. We discover how much we have, how much we want, how much we can give, how much we might withhold. Ben is clear with purpose currently, as he reveals our hearts to us, causing us to examine our priorities and notice the extent of our self-absorption. He awakens our conscience; we cannot ignore his need.

Ben, according to Jesus, is blessed, and his so-called ‘meaningless’ life multiplies immeasurable meaning for us all, often in ways we could never predict. His inherent worth provides customized lessons that show us exactly who we are, and who we are encouraged to be. Specific lessons about the importance of care for the least of these, the marginalized, overlooked, ignored, undervalued, despised and forlorn. Lessons to help us see the poor in spirit, the downtrodden and despairing, the oppressed -- each heartbroken soul in need of the cool refreshment from the river of life. And the clear teaching that He wants us -- imperfect and defective as we are -- to supply these revitalizing waters in multiple ways to our fellow wanderers. 

He has, in fact, gifted us to be His supply wherever there is lack. As soon as we open up our eyes, taking them off of our usual persistent focus on ourselves, we start to see the needs that beg for care and compassion, unmistakably all around us. God’s unique gifts in each of us are perfected as we slowly realize where they are most needed, and fill that space accordingly. Gifts that match our heart’s desires, these provide us deepest joy when we give them away. Rather than fear a lack, we are refueled and refilled when we offer nourishment to others. Like Jesus washing the disciples’ feet, a task normally reserved only for the most menial of servants, chances for us to love with action, in sincere humility, exist everywhere. We look for glamorous roles, but He is most satisfied when we model the heart of an invisible servant.

What if, instead of our constricted viewpoint, we were keenly aware of these opportunities that daily surround us? What if our actions arose from the beauty of His heart, the warmth of His compassion, and the power of His love in us, infiltrating our surroundings of ugly, cold, uncaring hate and uncompromising apathy. Amidst suffering that permeates the lives of  children, women, men and sojourners, the embodiment of Christ’s love would be a cool cup of water, indeed. What if we became the vessel through which this refreshment flowed?

Clear Beyond becomes a broad hint to those who follow Christ, that like Ben, this home is not our home. Where we plant our feet, lay our head, raise our families, tend our gardens, report to our workplaces, gather with loved ones, celebrate, grieve, strive and strain, is all temporary. Our citizenship -- where we are counted as belonging -- is in heaven. Where our hearts reside is in the purposes of the eternal, so our outlook does not rely on earthly constraints. In our true home will come joy, healing, relief, an absence of despair, no more tears. Such childlike hope invites ridicule, contempt or worse -- persecution, imprisonment, death, in some places. Strange that something deemed so foolish would invite such rigorous, violent attack. But to those suffering in impossible conditions -- and to those who realize the impossible condition of their heart -- nothing rises above the importance of finding redemption, restoration and wholeness in the saving, healing grace of Jesus’ promise. 

With that backdrop, walking in His steps with sacrificial love brings inherent value to every moment. The perceived meaninglessness we encounter and the miserable state of our inner life become alive and rich with refreshing liberation, uplifted in delight, peace, contentment and substance. Invisible to our eye, He is very visibly at work in our lives. Hidden, He is in plain sight to our needy hearts. Wrapped in mystery, He invites us into direct, intimate communion with Him. Dying to ourselves, we are fully alive and supplied in Him. Impure to our core, the holiness of His Spirit invades our very being.  And, what if we noticed that though God’s exists everywhere, He is also in the infinitesimal; that though He is all powerful, He grants us all power whether or not to follow Him; that though He gives life, yet Jesus wept to see one grieving; though omnipotent, the newborn Jesus was nestled in a feeding trough for barnyard animals? Most certainly, our relationship with Him seems itself to be a fundamental paradox. 

And as the world takes its fallen state for granted, accepting horrors with alarming calm, God, with incomprehensible love, pursues us constantly. What if we noticed these entrance points, His numerous attempts to reach us? He knocks. If we knew it was Him, would we let Him in? Or are we too busy, too tired, too intelligent, too cynical, too preoccupied, too sick, too self-sufficient, too disillusioned, too content, or too much of any good thing that distracts us from the greatest good thing?

These puzzling dichotomies seem to be how God operates. We need a paradoxical viewpoint to see the deep, deliberate instruction that richly surrounds us, to notice and appreciate the meaning of contrasts in our midst.  To realize fully that a sin-filled world is not God’s plan, Satan’s truths are lies, our planet is not our home, endless affliction is not eternal, gentleness is powerful, kindness is a force, love is fierce, restraint is vigorous, humility is mighty, patience is robust, within sadness exists joy, within turmoil, peace, and in dying we reach eternal living. Everything really will be Clear Beyond. If we would allow that truth to sink into our muddy circumstances today, God’s miraculous means of redeeming our present will begin to impact every moment we live -- now, then and beyond.

POSTLUDE

“God’s kingdom turns the tables upside down. The poor, the hungry, the mourners, and the oppressed truly are blessed. Not because of their miserable states, of course – Jesus spent much of his life trying to remedy those miseries. Rather, they are blessed because of an innate advantage they hold over those more comfortable and self-sufficient. People who are rich, successful, and beautiful may well go through life relying on their natural gifts. People who lack such natural advantages, hence underqualified for success in the kingdom of this world, just might turn to God in their time of need. Human beings do not readily admit desperation. When they do, the kingdom of heaven draws near.” P. Yancey, The Jesus I Never Knew, p. 116-117

“Notice God’s unutterable waste of saints, according to the judgment of the world. God plants His saints in the most useless places. We say – God intends me to be here because I am so useful. Jesus never estimated His life along the line of the greatest use. God puts His saints where they will glorify Him, and we are no judges at all of where that is.” O. Chambers, My Utmost For His Highest, August 10

“Jesus rarely comes where we expect Him; He appears where we least expect Him, and always in the most illogical connections.The only way a worker can keep true to God is by being ready for the Lord’s surprise visits….” O. Chambers, My Utmost For His Highest, March 29 

“In the Beatitudes, strange sayings that at first glance seem absurd, Jesus offers a paradoxical key to abundant life.” P. Yancey, The Jesus I Never Knew, p. 125

“Ministering as opportunity surrounds us…means being very selectly God’s in any haphazard surroundings which He engineers for us…it takes all God’s power in me to do the most commonplace things in His way…‘I have given you an example that you should do as I have done to you.’ Watch the kind of people God brings around you, and you will be humiliated to find that this is His way of revealing to you the kind of person you have been to Him. Now, He says, exhibit to that one exactly what I have shown to you.” O. Chambers, My Utmost For His Highest, September 11

“Various scenes in the Gospels give a good picture of the kind of people who impressed Jesus. A widow who placed her last two cents in the offering. A dishonest tax collector so riddled with anxiety that he climbed a tree to get a better view of Jesus. A nameless, nondescript child. A woman with a string of five unhappy marriages. A blind beggar. An adulteress. A man with leprosy. Strength, good looks, connections, and the competitive instinct may bring a person success in a society like ours, but those very qualities may block entrance to the kingdom of heaven. Dependence, sorrow, repentance, a longing to change – these are the gates to God’s kingdom.” P. Yancey, The Jesus I Never Knew, p. 114

“An average view of the Christian life is that it means deliverance from trouble. It is deliverance in trouble, which is very different…The temptation is to face difficulties from a common-sense standpoint. The saint is hilarious when he is crushed with difficulties because the thing is so ludicrously impossible to anyone but God.” O. Chambers, My Utmost For His Highest, August 2

“Just leave in His Hands the present and the future, knowing only that He is good. He can bring order out of chaos, good out of evil, peace out of turmoil. God is good.” A. J. Russell, God Calling, Sept. 20

“If Jesus of Nazareth had been one more innocent victim, like King, Mandela, Havel, and Solzhenitsyn, he would have made his mark in history and faded from the scene. No religion would have sprung up around him. What changed history was the disciples’ dawning awareness (it took the Resurrection to convince them) that God himself had chosen the way of weakness. The cross redefines God as One who was willing to relinquish power for the sake of love…Power, no matter how well-intentioned, tends to cause suffering. Love, being vulnerable, absorbs it. In a point of convergence on a hill called Calvary, God renounced the one for the sake of the other.” P. Yancey, The Jesus I Never Knew, p. 204-205

“According to all four Gospels, women were the first witnesses of the resurrection, a fact that no conspirator in the first century would have invented. Jewish courts did not even accept the testimony of female witnesses. A deliberate cover-up would have put Peter or John or, better, yet, Nicodemus in the spotlight, not built its case around reports from women.” P. Yancey, The Jesus I Never Knew, p. 212

“...Peter had denied Jesus with oaths and curses, he had come to the end of himself and all his self-sufficiency, there was not one strand of himself he would ever rely upon again, and in his destitution he was in a fit condition to receive an impartation from the risen Lord...No matter what changes God has wrought in you, never rely upon them, build only on a Person, the Lord Jesus Christ, and on the Spirit He gives.” O. Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, January 5

“The circumstances of a saint’s life are ordained of God. In the life of a saint there is no such thing as chance. God by His providence brings you into circumstances that you cannot understand at all, but the Spirit of God understands…Never put your hand in front of the circumstances and say – I am going to be my own providence here, I must watch this, and guard that. All your circumstances are in the hand of God, therefore never think it strange concerning the circumstances you are in.” O. Chambers, My Utmost For His Highest, November 7

“The initiative of the saint is not towards self-realization, but towards knowing Jesus Christ. The spiritual saint never believes circumstances to be haphazard, or thinks of his life as secular and sacred; he sees everything he is dumped down in as the means of securing the knowledge of Jesus Christ. There is a reckless abandonment about him. The Holy Spirit is determined that we shall realize Jesus Christ in every domain of life, and He will bring us back to the same point again and again until we do. Self-realization leads to the enthronement of work; whereas the saint enthrones Jesus Christ in his work…” O. Chambers, My Utmost For His Highest, July 11

“‘Power without love is reckless and abusive,’ said Martin Luther King Jr. ‘Power at its best is love implementing the demands of justice.’” P. Yancey, What’s So Amazing About Grace?, p. 265

“Christ came down from heaven, and whenever His disciples entertained dreams of prestige and power He reminded them that the greatest is the one who serves. The ladder of power reaches up, the ladder of grace reaches down.” P. Yancey, What’s So Amazing About Grace?, p. 266

“The idea is not that we do work for God, but that we are so loyal to Him that He can do His work through us….God wants to use us as He used His own Son.” O. Chambers, My Utmost For His Highest, December 18

“When we choose deliberately to obey Him, then He will tax the remotest star and the last grain of sand to assist us with all His almighty power.”  O. Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, Dec. 1

“Never get your eyes on the obstacle or on the difficulty. The obstacle is a matter of indifference to the river which will flow steadily through you if you remember to keep right at the Source.” O. Chambers, My Utmost For His Highest, September 6

“Indeed, for women and other oppressed people, Jesus turned upside down the accepted wisdom of the day.” P. Yancey, The Jesus I Never Knew, p. 154

“Jesus was often ‘moved by compassion,’ and in New Testament times that very word was used maternally to express what a mother feels for her child in her womb. Jesus went out of his way to embrace the unloved and unworthy, the folks who matter not at all to the rest of society – they embarrass us, we wish they’d go away – to prove that even ‘nobodies’ matter infinitely to God. One unclean woman, too shy and full of shame to approach Jesus face-to-face, grabbed his robe, hoping he would not notice. He did notice. She learned, like so many other ‘nobodies,’ that you cannot easily escape Jesus’ gaze…We matter to God.” P. Yancey, The Jesus I Never Knew, p. 159

“Our Lord’s teaching is always anti-self-realization. His purpose is not the development of a man; His purpose is to make a man exactly like Himself, and the characteristic of the Son of God is self-expenditure. If we believe in Jesus, it is not what we gain, but what He pours through us that counts…and we cannot measure that at all.” O. Chambers, My Utmost For His Highest, September 2

“Natural love expects some return, but Paul says -- I do not care whether you love me or not, I am willing to destitute myself completely, not merely for your sakes, but that I may get you to God...His [Jesus’] idea is that we serve Him by being the servants of other men...He says that in His Kingdom he that is greatest shall be the servant of all. The real test of the saint is not preaching the gospel, but washing disciples’ feet, that is, doing the things that do not count in the actual estimate of men but count everything in the estimate of God.”  O. Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, February 25

“The cares of this world, said Jesus, will choke God’s word…Be rightly related to God, find your joy there, and out of you will flow rivers of living water. Be a centre for Jesus Christ to pour living water through. Stop being self-conscious, stop being a sanctified prig, and live the life hid with Christ. The life that is rightly related to God is as natural as breathing wherever it goes. The lives that have been of most blessing to you are those who were unconscious of it.” O. Chambers, My Utmost For His Highest, August 31

“Jesus did not say – Make converts to your way of thinking, but look after My sheep, see that they get nourished in the knowledge of Me…Jesus Christ calls service what we are to Him, not what we do for Him. Discipleship is based on devotion to Jesus Christ, not a belief or a creed…Jesus Christ is a source of deep offense to the educated mind of today that does not want Him in any other way than as a Comrade…If I am devoted to the cause of humanity only, I will soon be exhausted and come to the place where my love will falter; but if I love Jesus Christ personally and passionately, I can serve humanity though men treat me as a door-mat. The secret of a disciple’s life is devotion to Jesus Christ, and the characteristic of the life is its unobtrusiveness. It is like a corn of wheat, which falls into the ground and dies, but presently it will spring up and alter the whole landscape.” O. Chambers, My Utmost For His Highest, June 19

What’s So Amazing About Grace?, Copyright 1997 by Philip Yancey, used by permission.

The Jesus I Never Knew, Copyright 1995 by Philip Yancey, used by permission.

ENCOURAGING WORD

Philippians 3:20-21  But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables Him to bring everything under His control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like His glorious body.

Matthew 10:42  And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones because he is my disciple, I tell you the truth, he will certainly not lose his reward.

Colossians 3:12  Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

Jeremiah 31:25  I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint.

Matthew 20:26  Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant…

Deuteronomy 10:12-13;18-19   And now, O Israel, what does the Lord your God ask of you but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in all his ways, to love him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, and to observe the Lord’s commands and decrees…He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the alien, giving him food and clothing. And you are to love those who are aliens, for you yourselves were aliens in Egypt.

Psalm 56:3-4  Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You...I will not fear. What can flesh do to me?

Exodus 33:14  The Lord replied, ‘My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.’

Psalm 33:20-22  We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. May your unfailing love be with us, Lord, even as we put our hope in you.

Isaiah 49:13  ...For the Lord comforts His people and will have compassion on His afflicted ones.

John 14:26-27  But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

John 16:32  Yet I am not alone, for my Father is with me. I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.

James 3:17-18  But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.

John 7:24  Stop judging by mere appearances, and make a right judgment.

Romans 12:1-2  Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God – this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will. 

1 Corinthians 1:20  Where is the wise man? Where is the scholar? Where is the philosopher of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? 

1 Peter 1: 22-23  Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart. For you have been born again...through the living and enduring Word of God.

Galatians 6:9  Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people…

Hebrews 10:23-24  Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. 

Hebrews 13:3  Remember those in prison as if you were their fellow prisoners, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering.

2 Peter 3:8-9  But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.

1 John 2:15-17  Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For everything in the world – the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does – comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever.